Blended Families

This week was really cool.  Having grown up in a blended family I have seen what to do and what not to do as a step-child, and parent.  We talked in class about how the new step parent should act like an uncle, or aunt, to the step-children, and should let the birth parent be primarily responsible for the hard discipline of their children.  I think about the relationship that I have with my current step-dad, and it is the kind of father/son relationship I never had growing up.  We watch and play sports together, work out together, talk about manly things together, and have a great time.  He and my mother work together to determine what my punishment should be if I fudge up while I'm at home, and it is great.  I think that part of this is because of my attitude towards our relationship.  I still call him Paul, I don't think I'll ever call him dad, although he is like a father to me.  I know some people don't get along with their step parents at all.  If my birth father were to marry his current/former girlfriend I would never tell her that I love her because I don't like her, and I think that she would never be able to be like a mother to me because of the close relationship I have with my real mother.  I think that because my relationship with my father isn't very much like the relationship normally between father and son, it is easier for me to be close to my step-dad.  I don't know if this is how most people feel, or if it is just how it is in my life.  Anyways, I think blended families can be a great thing, but it can also tear a family apart, which is why any possibility of remarriage should be prayerfully considered.  That's all I have to say about that.

Parenting

This was a really nice week.  The thought was raised about adoption, or doing foster care.  I always thought adoption would be a great thing for my family at some point.  I have a former step-brother (our parents have since divorced), and his family adopted a young man from Uganda.  I know that it has done tremendous help for him, as well as the family.  Especially if for some reason my wife and I are unable to have children (because of my tight jeans...), I think adoption wouldn't even be a question, we would be happy to adopt children from less-than-ideal situations.  The young man my step-brother adopted was about 14 when he was adopted and has done well to assimilate into the family.  I know that there is some problems associated with adopting somebody who has been in a bad situation for several years, but I think I would be willing to help anybody who really needs it, hoping that somehow they would be able to accept our love...  Either way, adoption is a very interesting thought, and has been something I have thought about since my mission.  We'll see what the future holds.

Parenting and managing money

This week was good.  We covered a subject that I have been trying to learn more about for the past year or so- money management.  In class we were asked to list three things we thought were particularly important to teach our families fromt the handout "One For the Money".  Our group decided that the three things were 1. tithing 2. restraint with spending and 3. the principle of hard work.  I think all three of these are very important principles to instill in young people's hearts.  My parents tried hard to teach me all of these.  I've always had to pay my tithing, on anything I received growing up.  My parents also had me save up for my mission, and I was able to pay for all of it, as well as college.  I am grateful that they taught me these principles because it has helped me to apprecitate the things that I save up and purchase, my education, as well as the things that they give me.  Parents have a lot of work to do with children, and I think that teaching them to manage their money is a very important role.  One reason for it is that it will help them to save up enough money for them to eventually move out of their parent's house.  That being said, I'm out. 

Conflict Res.

I really liked classes this week, discussing how couples should approach conflict, and how to communicate effectively.  I have been trying to make sure that the way I communicate with my roommates is in a way that they cannot misunderstand, which is something that we discussed in class.  So much of our communication is based on non-verbal cues, and I was trying hard this week to be aware of the signals I was using, and making sure that the person I was trying to communicate with was understanding my cues.  It was really interesting.  I was also more aware of how others communicated not only with me, but with conversations that I observed as well.

 I remember thinking that a marriage that had absolutely no disagreements was a perfect marriage, but I realized recently that conflicts or arguments are good, and healthy, if approached the correct way.  Growing up I had really poor examples on dealing with conflicts in marriage.  My step-dad would stonewall my mother, and they wouldn't talk, or when they did it was usually pretty heated.  My dad was really loud and would yell and throw things.  It wasn't until recently, with my mom's new husband, that I was able to see good examples on how to communicate, and reach decisions when different views are had.  Sometimes my mom compromises to please my step-dad, and vice versa.  Sometimes they come to a decision where they both feel victorious, it just depends on the argument.  It is nice to see peaceful arguments, however.  I hope that I will be able to communicate effectively with my wife, and I know that starts now, in the dating scene.  If I can't communicate with the girl that I am dating right now, and she can't communicate with me what makes me think that something will change when we get married and real problems arise?  That is poor thinking.  Anyways, it was a good class this week, and I really enjoyed it.  That's all.

I liked the things we talked about this week.  Mostly about how marital intimacy is more than just sexual, but consists of emotional and spiritual.  I liked how we discussed when to talk about sex with our children, and how we should be the ones to do it so they don't get distorted views about sexuality.  I hope that I will be okay at explaining that kind of stuff.  Anyways, it was a good week, I am looking forward to marriage even though it is quite a ways away.

Dating

This last week we talked about marriage prep.  I really liked it.  I have noticed some patterns in my dating habits that I am going to be correcting and am excited to see how it will improve my relationships.  Although I am single right now I have high hopes.  That's about all I have to say this week, sorry it's so short.

Hello again.  I really have no idea if people read these, but here is this week's update.  I really thought classes this week were interesting.  The discussion of homosexuality and nature vs. nurture has always been an interesting topic for me.  I liked the readings we had that helped show that science really has only proven that it's not biological, primarily.  I also liked the discussions we had in class about gender roles.  My current family is great because both my mom and my step-dad work together very well, and it is apparent.  I have been in families, and observed families, that don't work well together, based on how they fulfill their gender roles.  Overall it was a good week, and I liked the discussions we had and the questions I had answered.